ChazH101

Thanks for the fav on DS#71 - Oh, I seem to be on fire...

Chef 2 – Aren’t you going to put it out?

Chef 1 – Nah. I’d rather not interfere. It will work itself out.

Chef 2 – What?

Chef 1 – It’s part of my new philosophy.

Chef 2 – Oh God. You went to another of those lunatic self-improvement seminars didn’t you? What is it this time? Neo Zen? Aggressive Pacifism? No wait, New Age Non Interventionist, right?

Chef 1 – Extreme Fatalism.

Chef 2 – More like just plain fatal. Fine, suit yourself.

A few minutes later…

Head Chef – Why is my sous chef on the floor, screaming and on fire?

Chef 2 – His sleeve caught alight, chef.

Head Chef – Why didn’t you put it out?

Chef 2 – I was going to, but then he went on about his new personal philosophy, at length, and I thought better about it.

Head Chef – I understand. What’s it this time?

Chef 2 – Extreme Fatalism.

Head Chef – Ironic. 

Thank you for choosing AbsurdAir, your captain for this flight is KaidokJ. He has no license, can’t see well and is easily distracted so there’s good chance we’ll never make our destination. But since this whole flight metaphor is just a weak attempt at a humorous anecdote, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Ah damn, I crashed through the 4^th wall.

Anyway, thanks for the watch.

I’m sure you regret your choice by now, considering this madness is basically what you signed up for, but since all tickets are non-refundable, welcome to Crazytown. Quarantine measures come into effect upon arrival.  

On a more serious note, here’s basically the run down. Posting dailies, free funny stories in most fav replies, and the intro to Kevin the Llama in the Llama Badge reply. Not every piece has a story written but DS prefix pics definitely do. Also, if you haven’t already heard, I’ve been working on an ongoing written series called the Kevin Chronicles, starring the very same abovementioned Kevin. You can find the series in the Journal, first chapter is here.

So that’s about it. Thanks again for flying AbsurdAir, and I hope you enjoy the ride.  

Thanks for the llama 

I had a llama once. His name was Kevin, but for reasons I will never understand, would only answer to Albert. After hours of bittersweet brotherhood, we finally parted ways over the subject of spitting. He seemed to feel as though I should stop and that was never going to happen. We might haven't overcome that issue, if it weren't for the overly competitive nature of llamas in general. Endless stench competitions, numerous belching contests, and one afternoon spent figuring out which one was hairier, it became obvious that that Kevin just couldn’t take losing. So he snuck out, taking with him a doomed friendship, an overwhelming dread for the future, and my bloody toothbrush. Now that he is gone, I'd probably say it's for the best. He was too much of a chick magnet anyway and who needs that drama? 

If you would like to read some more about Kevin and his wacky adventures, I’ve just started an ongoing series in my journal here - The Kevin Chronicles. 001. You should check it out. No pressure though, only if you want.